It’s the final countdown…
So we’re days away from the wedding of Harry & Meghan and the world is excited, to say the least, and rightly so! No doubt the happy couple are feeling all the emotions but so are lots of other couples getting married on Saturday, who are probably also feeling a little upstaged right now!
If this is you right now then fear not, I have some top bridal coaching tips for the final countdown especially for you (as let’s face, it I don’t think Harry & Meghan are going to be reading this!)
Hopefully you’ll have friends and family members around who are offering you lots of help in the lead up to the big day. Take them up on it! It can be tempting to want to do it all but now is not the time to play the martyr.
You don’t want to collapse in a frazzled heap come the big day so let your loved ones help with errands and final jobs. You may feel like you’re putting them out but it’s more than likely that they’ll be delighted to help ease the pressure and contribute towards you being a chilled out and happy bride.
I recommend that brides get into the habit of daily meditation throughout their engagement as it is such a great way to stay grounded, calm and de-stressed. If you’ve not been doing this then don’t worry, it’s not too late. Sometimes the word ‘meditation’ can be a little off putting especially for beginners so instead, focus on breathing. We all know how to do that but we rarely actually focus on breathing as we’re doing a million other things at the same time, especially in the lead up to a wedding.
Set your timer on you phone. 10 minutes normally does it for me but it can be more or less, whatever works for you. Spend that time sitting or lying down in whatever position feels comfortable and natural to you and spend the time focusing on your breath. The thoughts of your to-do list will likely creep in, that’s ok. Let the thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky and keep coming back to you breath. For more guidance check out this You Tube video I did all about meditation.
You can also call upon breathing techniques on the day itself. I did it on my wedding day just before going down the aisle to calm my nerves and most importantly to really hook me into the present moment as let’s face it, it’s not a moment you’re going to want to forget. Here’s a little ‘on the spot’ technique that works for me – breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, breath out for 5 seconds.
Have time to yourself
In the final days before the wedding having some alone time really helps encourage a bit of inner zen, whether that’s having beauty treatments or simply just doing whatever makes you happy.
It’s also important to have some alone time with your partner in these final days. This is actually something I neglected ahead of my own wedding. My wedding was at home in Essex so I had the week off to prepare whereas my husband had to stay in Birmingham to work. We didn’t really get any time together before the day, let alone any alone time.
Having time with your partner to re-group and savour such a special time is really important. It will remind you why you’re here in the first place and those last minute stresses will become less relevant.
Get in the zone
Now is the time to really think about how you want to feel on your wedding day. How do you want to feel when you wake up on your wedding morning? How do you want to feel when you walk down the aisle? How do you want to feel when it’s all over?
So often brides focus on how they don’t want to feel. If you’re worried about feeling nervous, flip this on its head. Think instead about how you want to feel instead. Visualise yourself waking up feeling calm, excited and ready to embrace each moment. When you imagine this, really allow your whole body to get a sense of this feeling. Use this technique any time niggling negative emotions or worries creep in.
Lay down the rules
On your wedding day you’re likely to have a lot of people around you trying to help and be part of the fun. Make sure everyone involved is on the same page as you. If you have a bridesmaid who tends to flap then subtly let her know that you’re looking forward to a calm and chilled out wedding morning and that you’re so glad you have her there to help keep things relaxed.
Communication is key. Let everyone (family, bridal party, suppliers etc) know your expectations. Of course do this is such a way that would not give anyone the chance to brand you a bridezilla. Aim for polite and effective communication so everyone is on the same page.
Go with the flow
By the time you go to bed the night before your wedding (hopefully sooner) you will have done all you can do when it comes to the planning and organising. Firstly, take a moment to celebrate this moment. A big pat on the back for you! You’ve worked really hard and now it’s time for the fun to really begin.
No matter how organised you’ve been you are never, ever going to have full control of every aspect of your wedding. I actually had several things go wrong on my big day (my nan was rushed to hospital and my Maid of Honour had to leave after the ceremony due to a family emergency of her own, to name a couple of things of these things). The phrase, ‘what will be, will be’ is a good one to say to yourself. You have to lean into the uncertainty sometimes and feel sure that whatever happens, it will all be ok.
Even if there are some little hiccups or disappointments don’t let this overshadow your day. You are in control of how you feel and how you respond to the things that happen. Decide that, no matter what, you’re going to have the best day and soak up every moment. I was a bit of a control freak bride and following the big day I had lots of epiphanies and learnt a lot about myself – here’s a blog post on all that from back then if you fancy a read.
Soak it all up
My little motto for my wedding was ‘soak it all up’ as the most important thing for me was that after the hours and hours of planning that went into the big day, nothing was going to stop me from enjoying every moment. I had little strategies to hook me into the moment. I noticed what people were wearing, I stopped and took in the surroundings and the atmosphere and if I found myself worrying about any minor details such as if people had enough canapés, I’d have a word with myself and make sure I snapped right back into the here and now.
Whatever you do, decide right now that you’re going to be a calm and happy bride who soaks up every moment of her big day. You deserve it (and so do Harry & Meghan, of course!)
Big love at this special time,
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